you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize