If that was your dad, he is hot
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
