I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize