yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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