The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
