ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize