What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Randomize
