I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
