Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
