Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize