I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
