so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Say something about gay babies.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
