Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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