the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
