What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
