I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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