Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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