He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just want to make out with him forever
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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