Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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