if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize