is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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