I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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