you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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