Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad girls dont get visible erections

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  But, it would have made life so much easier...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I'm glad girls dont get visible erections (617 ): But, it would have made life so much easier... http://tfl.nu/zuky
  Replies (27) Good night (3529) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining. http://tfl.nu/o92e
  Replies (6) Good night (4217) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka. http://tfl.nu/da8y
  Replies (12) Good night (4377) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered. http://tfl.nu/u71a
  Replies (15) Good night (7498) Bad night (1115)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier. http://tfl.nu/vyfv
  Replies (6) Good night (4250) Bad night (1210)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers http://tfl.nu/ldwb
  Replies (15) Good night (4945) Bad night (1441)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?! http://tfl.nu/krsv
  Replies (30) Good night (1189) Bad night (6960)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first... http://tfl.nu/kho5
  Replies (3) Good night (1669) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her. http://tfl.nu/z51y
  Replies (19) Good night (3113) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night. http://tfl.nu/81zt
  Replies (12) Good night (2204) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH http://tfl.nu/ebr6
  Replies (1) Good night (781) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing. (1-410): Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here http://tfl.nu/0wca
  Replies (7) Good night (1373) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning. http://tfl.nu/4ygc
  Replies (9) Good night (1380) Bad night (738)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing" http://tfl.nu/gmpq
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month http://tfl.nu/lnqv
  Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (226)

Randomize