Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.

Fav 3 979 2404
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

Fav 44 10333 918
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons

Fav 4 5087 843
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.

Fav 10 7953 1290
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.

Fav 7 2461 1853
share tweet
(845): View more from New York

So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing

Fav 5 6791 1268
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(636): View more from Missouri

I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.

Fav 6 2537 1079
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(515): View more from Iowa

I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.

Fav 0 853 653
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.

Fav 5 871 510
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT