someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
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If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.