Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.

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  (415): fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background. http://tfl.nu/i9c0
  Replies (22) Good night (3287) Bad night (720)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.

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  (612): I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks. http://tfl.nu/pli4
  Replies (27) Good night (3982) Bad night (938)
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  (646): View more from New York

  vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic

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  (646): vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic http://tfl.nu/5kjv
  Replies (41) Good night (4327) Bad night (725)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well

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  (401): its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well http://tfl.nu/qkzl
  Replies (20) Good night (1461) Bad night (5295)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.

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  (775): So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again. http://tfl.nu/ocrt
  Replies (67) Good night (8174) Bad night (2350)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?

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  (+61): I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above? http://tfl.nu/c1r4
  Replies (7) Good night (1972) Bad night (696)
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  (559): View more from California

  His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me

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  (559): His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me http://tfl.nu/qdk0
  Replies (6) Good night (1823) Bad night (648)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.

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  (406): I would watch the shit out of some full house right now. http://tfl.nu/5ksj
  Replies (6) Good night (2068) Bad night (557)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing

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  (413): I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing http://tfl.nu/ejfa
  Replies (9) Good night (1258) Bad night (787)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.

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  (604): I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina. http://tfl.nu/byss
  Replies (3) Good night (1161) Bad night (441)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.

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  (337): Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned. http://tfl.nu/yn2t
  Replies (7) Good night (1348) Bad night (813)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.

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  (816): Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is. http://tfl.nu/ytcu
  Replies (5) Good night (2630) Bad night (382)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.

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  (770): The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park. (770): I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers. http://tfl.nu/217c
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (870)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (423) Bad night (676)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.

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  (973): Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year. http://tfl.nu/l5j5
  Replies (3) Good night (760) Bad night (303)

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