Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?

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  (516): Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right? http://tfl.nu/loiq
  Replies (9) Good night (3740) Bad night (631)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.

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  (515): Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!! (1-515): Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states. http://tfl.nu/ptk3
  Replies (53) Good night (7348) Bad night (987)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...

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  (904): I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem... http://tfl.nu/1w4y
  Replies (43) Good night (5721) Bad night (924)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.

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  (412): girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid. http://tfl.nu/vm0r
  Replies (10) Good night (3593) Bad night (718)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.

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  (615): Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka. http://tfl.nu/pwqr
  Replies (15) Good night (1111) Bad night (8150)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.

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  (612): In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures. http://tfl.nu/oo7z
  Replies (7) Good night (2349) Bad night (1244)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.

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  (519): ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar. http://tfl.nu/yprb
  Replies (5) Good night (2517) Bad night (1113)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown

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  (773): after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown http://tfl.nu/azzf
  Replies (7) Good night (924) Bad night (1320)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey

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  (508): He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey http://tfl.nu/jy2i
  Replies (11) Good night (1777) Bad night (595)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work

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  (859): You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work http://tfl.nu/e8m2
  Replies (3) Good night (1290) Bad night (640)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.

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  (302): my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list. http://tfl.nu/q5hw
  Replies (8) Good night (483) Bad night (811)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.

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  (203): I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do. http://tfl.nu/63i1
  Replies (5) Good night (717) Bad night (485)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE

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  (850): ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE http://tfl.nu/47vt
  Replies (4) Good night (722) Bad night (318)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season

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  (785): Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season http://tfl.nu/3z2s
  Replies (11) Good night (686) Bad night (331)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paige is home safe.

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.

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  (574): Paige is home safe. (574): Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys. http://tfl.nu/n38o
  Replies (0) Good night (336) Bad night (479)

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