I only kidnapped one of them. chill
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
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whose ass print is on the piano?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.