I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
