I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
love makes seman taste better
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.