He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.