all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN