I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
