so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
