I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
