don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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