I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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