I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
