She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
