He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
