I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
