Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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