Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
