Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize