i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize