There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
