Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize