Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
