His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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