Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
