Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
