just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
