"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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