wanna go halves on a baby?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
