oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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