she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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