You just made me feel so damn special
I'm eating all of the evidence.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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