Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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