My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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