so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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