Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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