somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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