For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
