I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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