She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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