their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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