Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
