Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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