Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize