I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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