No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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