pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
